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6 Gardening Lies

Does your spouse ever say things like, "We need to buy more plants" or "Why don’t we build a greenhouse?" Well if you do, then I’m happy for you. You’ll have many great years in the dirt together. But if your more like me and often hear things like, "The garden is big enough", "You are not a farmer" and "Bring this garbage out to your crapbox", then this list of 6 Gardening Lies is just for you.


The vegetable garden will save us money

Sounds like a truthful statement doesn’t it? Yes, honey we won’t have to buy that $1.99 bag of salad at the supermarket because I can buy a packet of seeds for the same price. Please ignore the cost of the potting soil, the self watering seed starting trays, the electricity from the lights used to start these seeds in the basement, the water bill, the cost of lumber to build those raised beds, the fencing…

There’s a discount when you buy more than 18 yards of mulch
Who wants a few bags of mulch when you can have a dump truck unload a gigantic pile in your driveway. It's like a giant billboard that says, "Neighbors of NJ, behold my mighty pile of mulch!"

No, I didn’t just buy that plant, it was already there
Don’t you remember last year, we went to the nursery together, I think you picked that one out. What’s that? No, I don’t know where that receipt came from. Why am I holding a shovel?

But they’re perennials so we’re saving money in the long run
It’s like putting money in the bank. They’ll keep blooming for years.

We really do need 5 types of tomatoes
Nuff said.

I’m going out to the garden, I’ll be back in a minute
I’ll just water these plants and then I’ll be right in. Maybe a little weeding too. Hmm, these vines needs a trellis, I think I have some extra wood in the garage…

If you’ve ever told a gardening lie, please share it in the comment section. I'm always on the look out for new material.

18 Comments:

  1. lornadoone said...
    I think I'm coming at it from the wrong direction. My biggest gardening lie is the one I tell myself: I'll weed tomorrow.
    Colleen said...
    "Bring this garbage out to your crapbox." I love it :-)

    Anyway...I tell the same ones as you, as well as:

    1. "I just need to pick up some potting soil." And, of course, I return from the nursery with the soil, a couple pots they had on sale, several plants, some more mulch....

    2. "I just want to expand this bed a tiny bit." A few hours later, we're hauling wheelbarrows full of sod over to the compost pile.

    3. And my favorite..."Of course I have room for all of these seeds I'm starting!"

    Great post :-)
    Szarka said...
    Only five types of tomatoes?
    Tracy said...
    I love your list! I know the six words my husband hates to hear when we're in the yard are, "You know, I was just thinking . . . ."
    Pam/Digging said...
    Your last lie is my often-used one. Does it count when you're lying to yourself as well?
    robert said...
    Luckily my husband is lying to me at the same time I am lying to him about anything about the garden - dare we say a perfect match!
    Blackswamp_Girl said...
    I'm still giggling about this one: "Bring this garbage out to your crapbox"!!!!

    I'll post some of my own lies later. Right now the BF is looking over my shoulder (attracted by the giggling) and I don't want to give away all of my secrets just yet. ;)
    Carol said...
    How about, "but this hoe is different from the others!"
    Anthony said...
    I'm glad I'm not the only one telling a fib now and then.

    Thanks for the comments!!! You guys are too funny!
    The Queen said...
    1. Of course I know what I'm doing.

    2. Don't worry, I'll sell the extra seedlings at the plant sale at the school.

    3. I need all 15 types of tomatoes. Next year I promise I'll narrow it down to just the ones that do really well this year.

    And the one that is not a lie:
    4. Don't fret. We'll can the extras and give them away as Christmas presents.
    Gotta Garden said...
    1. I'm not buying any more daylilies (over 625...but who's counting)

    2. Of course there will still be plenty of grass for the dogs

    3. It was on sale! A bargain! I would NEVER pay $(fill in the blank) for that!

    4. Really, a few flowers here and there, how much can that cost...you say innocently to a new gardening friend...

    Enjoyed yours and the comments of others very much! Still laughing!
    The County Clerk said...
    Too funny.

    Every year I do my quicken reports and am shocked by the damage I have done. I just run the nursury to pick up one thing...

    Yep.

    I recently moved and the movers looked me quite strangly when I pointed to SEVERAL 30 gallon trash cans of POTTING SOIL. Loose, in the cans. I'd been "working on it."

    "You want us to move DIRT?"

    Soil baby!

    Great post.
    Annie in Austin said...
    My husband is mostly just as bad as I am about the garden, but sometimes it's better to just keep a low profile and 'don't ask; don't tell'.

    Do you think you could sell T-shirts to spouses of organic gardeners by printing "Bring this garbage out to your crapbox." on the fronts? That line really seems to resonate with those who live in the land of composting!

    Annie at the Transplantable Rose
    donk.usa said...
    Sounds like things I would have said to my first wife. I can picture her making the crapbox comment also.
    GardenGirl said...
    I was never interested in blogging, UNTIL I discovered the gardening blogs. Now that IS cool! I'm going to have to start my own.

    Love this post. This lie is one I tell soooooooooooooooo very often, and the saddest part is that EVERY time, I really believe it!

    "I'm just going to LOOK around at the nursery and not buy anything."

    Two hours later, I have my car PACKED full of gorgeous new plants and my head bubbling with creative gardening energy! Well, I DID look around. ;)
    lisa said...
    Hahahahaha!! Great post! I have free reign to do as I wish, but lies are told to me, by me. The primary untruth that I believe EVERY time: "I'll just stop and see what they have here." This rationale comes up every time I pass ANY kind of store that may carry garden supplies of ANY sort-especially small town hardware stores. It's this same lie that keeps me pretty much broke (but happy) all the time...it's a sickness...
    Ziggywigs said...
    He he he....i use those excuses all the time. My fav though is it's much better to buy a plant to grow as it's much healthier than chocolate. Great Blog.
    Bug_girl said...
    it's actually kind of frightening how many of these lies I have used....
    :)

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